A Neverending Dream
by abcdefghijkELLE
Summary: After awaking from a very vivid dream, Riza sets out to finally make Roy hers, but who is this mysterious woman she sees Roy kissing in the alley?
1. The dream

The office in which Riza Hawkeye and Roy Mustang resided was stiflingly hot. Riza felt her forehead and estimated that her temperature was most likely above average, her thoughts were confirmed as, out of her peripheral vision, she saw a bead of sweat roll down the side of her cheek.  
_I don't even know why I agreed to work these extra hours _she grumbled to herself _it's not as if I need the extra money. _But deep down, Riza knew the reason. The reason was…well, more of a person than a reason actually. A person she worked with. A person she loved…That person was Roy Mustang, though she'd only just admitted it to herself and would much less bring herself to admit it to Roy.

As if he was reading her innermost thoughts, Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang suddenly looked up from the pile of papers he was supposed to be marking (_**supposed**__ being the operative word,_ Riza thought) and spoke aloud to the Riza.

"It's stupidly hot in here. I don't know how the military expects us to actually do any work. I'm going outside for a bit"

Lieutenant Hawkeye was about to nod, not in agreement, merely to let Roy know she'd acknowledged what he had said but before she could make that gesture the lieutenant colonel spoke up again:

"You could always join me…if you want" he said in his usual flirtatious way, even going as far to tip a wink in Riza's direction when he'd finished speaking.

Riza's face blushed ever so slightly and she looked down at the papers quickly, whilst cursing herself for not remaining composed in the face of Roy's teasing.

"I might, I might not" she declared vaguely, with a wave of her hand, trying to play the game as well as he was doing, but when she looked up the colonel had already vanished out of the door, down the corridor and onto the balcony.  
Riza let out a sigh, her demeanor portraying her emotions for once. She then proceeded to stand up quickly (which was not the best of ideas as in the heat it made her feel dizzy) and follow Roy to the balcony before her confidence betrayed her.

When Riza first stepped outside she had to lift her hand to shield her face from the sunlight that glared into her eyes. After the initial blinding of the sun she received, she welcomed the natural light, the air that felt fresh and cool on her face and the wind that, if she had let her hair down, would tug at it and make it fly around her head, obscuring her vision. Riza inhaled deeply and took her hand from her face, revealing a smile that (though she did not know it) probably made her look like one of the most beautiful women in Central City.

Roy was staring at Riza in what she thought was an extremely funny way.

"What?" She asked, bemusedly "have I got something in my hair or somethi-"

Before she could finish her sentence, she felt strong arms embracing her and a hand running through her tied up hair. _What's going on? _She wondered, thoughts racing, _if this is just some elaborate mind game…_

"Riza" Roy murmured. Riza was shocked by this use of her first name.

"Riza" he repeated, as if savoring the word itself. "I've been stupid. I've been working alongside you for so long and I haven't been able to tell you…"

"Tell me what?" Riza asked, a frown playing on her lips. She didn't dare to believe this was happening. If she got her hopes up, they'd just be dashed. After all, this **is** Colonel Roy Mustang here, he's had more women than- _NO! _She thought desperately _don't think like that. You should be allowed to hope!_

Riza took a step backwards, took Roy's hand in hers and stared him directly in the eyes.

"Roy, I have an idea what you're about to say, and if it's what I think it is. Make sure it's true, ok? If you hurt me, I'll make the rest of your time working with me a living hell."

Roy returned her gaze with a renewed intensity.

"I've never said anything truer in my life than what I'm about to say now"

Riza looked into his eyes for signs of a lie and when she decided there were none she finally let her many defenses down.

"Well hurry up and say it then" she demanded half jokingly, not wanting to ruin the atmosphere.

Roy took a breath; bit his lip and his grip on Riza's hand tightened.

Ever so softly, she heard him say "I'm sorry if I've ever hurt you in the past. All those other women, they barely meant anything compared to you. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Riza…I love you. I love you with everything I have"  
A dazzling smile lit up Riza's face as she parted her lips ever so slightly to tell Roy that she returned his love but all of a sudden a funny thing happened. She felt a tingling sensation at the bottom of her feet, she frowned and Roy started to appear ever more distant. In fact, **everything **was fading…

An alarm clock went off in First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye's room as she groggily told her dog, Black Hayate to stop licking her feet.  
_The start of a new day _Riza thought _what a shame. I was having such a lovely dream…_


	2. The reality

Author's Note: I had a slight lack of idea's for this chapter and I was a bit distracted whilst writing it so I apologise if the quality of this chapter doesn't live up to expectations ;;

**Author's Note: ****I apologise in advance that this chapter doesn't really go anywhere and isn't exactly action packed. My aim was just to show the realistic side to life as opposed to the unrealistic dream sequence I wrote in the previous chapter, also, it begins to show the depth of Riza's feelings for Roy and the ongoing conflict she has with herself about it! Wow, how deep did I sound…**

--

Riza Hawkeye yawned loudly, stretched her arms and rubbed the last bit of sleep from her eyes that had gathered there the previous night. After reluctantly dragging herself out of bed she proceeded to pour Hayate's dog food into his bowl.  
Hayate heard the sound of his food being poured and scampered towards Riza, skidding across the laminate floor on the last metre or so, but just as he was about to reach his food Riza pulled the bowl out of his reach.

"Sit" Riza commanded. Hayate sat.

"Lie down" Hayate lay.

"Paw" Hayate offered Riza his right paw.

"Switch" Hayate switched the aforesaid paw to his left.

"Good dog" Riza commended, with a slight smile upon her face. As a reward, she placed Hayate's food bowl down in front of him and chuckled as he dived into it, getting food all over his muzzle. Riza scratched underneath Hayate's chin distractedly as she pondered on the dream she'd had the previous night. _That's about the third one I've had in a month about Roy. Now, if only my dreams had the power to become reality _she thought dejectedly. Riza scolded herself for thinking such thoughts. She and Roy had been friends for as long as she could remember and to even **think** about wanting something more was just wrong…and besides, why would Colonel Roy Mustang, who could get any girl he wanted with just a look from those dazzling midnight black eyes of his, support the idea, even for a moment of looking at plain old Riza Hawkeye in a favourable light. Riza sighed aloud. Hayate looked up and placed his head in her lap as he sensed his mistress's discomfort. She patted him on the head for the last time then stood up to do her daily workout. _I may not be the prettiest girl in the military, but I'd like to bet that I have the best body out there. _She mused. The thought made another smile play about her lips.

Riza padded softly over to her wardrobe, not wanting to disturb Hayate who, after sating his hunger for the morning had immediately fallen asleep again. She pulled out a plain white t-shirt and black trousers and walked towards the workout room. As she walked, she thought some more. _Out of everyone in the military, I'm most likely the closest to Roy. I've known him the longest except for Maes…then wouldn't it make sense that Roy looked at me in a fond light? But what if he just views me as a best friend? Oh, I don't know. _She tried to contain the rush of thoughts that were gathering in her head, each battling it out against the other to be heard. She started to massage her temples as she felt a headache coming on.

As Riza was doing her chin-ups, push-ups and all the other daily exercises she did to help her maintain her slim and healthy appearance, the thoughts clamoured to a crescendo. She was so used to them by this point she'd separated them into two specific categories: the "What if he does…" category and "You know he doesn't!" category, both advising her to do completely different things. _But what if he __**does **__like you Riza _the voice urged _and what if you don't do anything about it? You could end up regretting it for the rest of your life!_

"Shut up!" She cried "You're just part of me; you're just saying what I want you to say!" She shoved the bench she was doing press-ups with aside in frustration "Damn thoughts. I'm starting to wish I never met a certain Roy Mustang"

Though even as she said those words they didn't echo quite true in her head. She had this conversation with herself at least once a week, she reckoned and each time she generally let the "You know he doesn't" side win the argument, but today…well, today was different!

Riza sat, resting her chin in her hands and absent mindedly scratching a still sleeping Hayate.

"You know what?" She spoke to no one in particular "I'm sick of being the wallflower. Today is the day that I'm going to make Roy Mustang **mine**!"

Just the thought of what she was planning to do sent shocks of electricity all over her body that made her shiver with anticipation.

Riza got up and moved towards her wardrobe, pulling out her military uniform and trademark gun. Normally, this is where her 'getting ready' stage would end but today Riza substituted her normal routine of practicing her shooting after getting dressed for making herself look good, no, better than good. Making herself look **great.** Riza grinned wolfishly at the thought of how everyone in the office would react to this drastic change in her persona. Riza Hawkeye, who only ever tied her hair up and that was that, starting to care about her looks. _Who'd have thought?_ She chuckled.

Looking in the mirror for assistance, Riza started applying some foundation first to cover what little blemishes she had already, then applied some blusher to make her look like she had a healthy glow, followed by some mascara, eyeliner and lipstick. After the transformation (because that's what Riza proudly looked at it as, a transformation) had been completed, she looked properly in the mirror for the first time and gasped. It was hard to believe the person staring back at her in the mirror was the same Riza. This Riza looked…different, sexier, and more confident. Riza liked it. There was one thing missing though, one thing that would complete her look. Riza pondered over what it was then suddenly had a brainwave! She carefully took her hair out of the clip that normally pinned it so tightly back, and shook her head so her golden blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders. _There, finished._ She thought happily.

There was only one thing left to do and that was put on her mask. Not a literal one of course, a metaphorical one. Riza Hawkeye, whilst being famed mainly for being the most accurate shot with a gun in all of the military had a second trait that defined her: her near lack of emotion at work. It wasn't like she was a total robot; she just didn't like to let things get to her. Crying was a sign of weakness, one that she was not about to show.

On her way to the military office, Riza found herself humming a tune. It'd been a while since she'd felt this happy. Before she knew it, she found herself staring at the door of the office that she resided in. Riza took a breath, steadying herself before turning the handle and stepping into the office. The usual people were there: Mustang, Fuery, Havoc, Falman…

"Hey, Hawkeye" shouted Roy across the noise of Havoc crying over the loss of his latest girlfriend to Mustang "you have something on your face!" He smirked, not unkindly. Riza started frantically backtracking through her day, trying to remember what she'd eaten and why its contents had somehow ended up on her face, then groaned inwardly as she realized that Roy meant her newly applied make-up.

"Yeah?" She asked and smiled innocently "well you have something **huge** on your head, no wait; it's just your ego"

Fuery bit back as laugh as he was unsure whether it would be wise or not but when everyone else started he joined in.

"Nice retort Miss Hawkeye" he complimented.

Riza smiled in response and she felt herself start to be at ease.

Typical Roy, typical Fuery, typical day at the office…


	3. Lost loves

Riza made her way past a still crying Havoc towards her usual place, which was situated next to Roy's desk

"Lieutenant Mustang, sir" Riza reported to Roy.

She hated all these formalities on a regular day but today she absolutely despised them. _How am I meant to be able to get close to Roy if I have to address him as 'Sir' all the time, it's almost impossible _she grumbled, but berated herself immediately. _No one ever got what they wanted by complaining about the obstacles in their way!_

Roy looked flustered, more so than usual. His normally deathly pale complexion had turned red in hue; she could see the perspiration trickling down its path from his forehead to his cheek. Her observations were temporarily put on hold as Roy grabbed a tuft of his jet black hair, pulled hard enough on it to almost yank it out and uttered a stream of curses so black she could see the tips of Fuery's ears turn pink in embarrassment.  
Riza rolled her eyes discreetly so Roy wouldn't notice, the mood he was in he would likely demote her for such an insubordination.

"What's up?" she asked in what she hoped sounded like a concerned voice.

Although truth be told, she already knew what would be up. It was typical Roy really, he would've spent a lot of time in the field, slowly building up a monstrous pile of paperwork but having 'a dentists appointment' or 'being busy' when the time came to do it. The result of this was having a pile of paperwork almost Major Armstrong's height looming over Roy menacingly whilst he furiously tried to do it for the deadline, which, would most likely be tomorrow or the day after.

"Nothing's up!" he snapped in reply. Riza didn't flinch as anyone else would have. She'd known Roy for too long to be intimidated by him _in this way at least…_

"Roy…"she sighed and shook her head. The way a mother would sigh at a child who always thought they knew best.

"Look. I'm sorry ok? It's just this paperwork. I don't know how the military expect me to finish all this by the day after tomorrow. It's a pain in the ass"

"Yeah, I know Roy, I know" she said, hoping she didn't sound too patronising and tactfully not mentioning the fact that if Roy had done it when he was supposed to he wouldn't be so rushed now.

Havoc, however, was not so tactful.

"Hey Mustang, if you'd done it in the first place you wouldn't be trying to finish it off in the last five minutes" he laughed, cigarette jerking up and down in his mouth as he spoke. Roy snarled, sounding uncannily like a wolf.

"I don't think you'd find it half as funny if I grabbed that cigarette and forcefully shoved it down your throat now, would you?"

Silence from Havoc

"WOULD YOU?!" shouted Roy, almost manically.

"N-no sir. Sorry sir. Won't happen again sir" Havoc apologised profusely.

Riza sighed again. Roy always got like this on the days he was racing against time to mark paperwork, and Havoc never helped, knowing exactly what buttons to press to wind him up. She sat down next to Roy.

"If you just get on with your ordinary work today and stay back to do some extra hours tonight I'll help you with your paperwork. Okay?" She offered.

For the first time since Riza entered the office, a genuine smile lit up Roy's face.

"Really?" He asked, half unbelieving

"Really." She confirmed.

Roy laughed in relief.

"Riza, you're an angel. A lifesaver. I don't know where I'd be without you"

At the sound of his praise, the back of Riza's neck started to burn hot and the hairs stood on end. Silly, really, that a few complimentary words from Roy would make her feel like this. Not wanting Roy to notice that his words had affected her so deeply she turned around and faced the window looking outside at the view, not that there was much of one. She just found herself staring at the backs of buildings some grey in colour and some black. _Central is so dull in colour _she thought, switching her gaze elsewhere she noticed the groups of people milling around the city, going this way and that, about their daily business and she smiled. She turned around again, ready to face Roy.

"I'm not a lifesaver Mustang. I just know how to keep my head in situations and **not** let the paperwork get on top of me"

She guessed she would be able to make the jest without getting her head bitten off as Roy had seemed to calm down considerably and true enough he just flashed her one of his winning smirks and rolled his eyes theatrically. If Riza had been a normal girl she would've succumbed to his charms and started giggling like a preschooler but she kept her head and her cool and turned towards the window again.  
The rest of the day seemed to go by in a blur as Riza was consumed in her own thoughts and went about her work. For the 7th time that day she looked up at the clock and to her great surprise she saw it read 6:30pm. Looking around the office she noticed all the other military personnel putting their jackets on, ready to leave.

"Coming Miss Hawkeye?" Asked Fuery meekly.

Fuery had a crush (for want of a better word) on Riza. She could tell by the way his eyes lit up (if subtly) when she entered the room and the way he normally stared at the floor when he talked to her.

"No, sorry Fuery. I said I'd stay back and help Roy with the paperwork" she jerked a thumb in Roy's direction. Fuery followed it and saw Roy leaning back on his chair, feet propped up on the desk on the phone. Most likely to Major Hughes, judging by the infuriated expression on his face.

"Ok." he stated simply, looking slightly dejected before pulling on his jacket completely and leaving the room, shutting the door ever so quietly behind him.

Riza turned towards Roy and listened to the conversation, trying to confirm if it was in fact Hughes he was on the phone to.

"…for the last time Hughes, I **don't** care that Elysia has learnt how to read. What? No. I'm not jealous. Why would I be jea- oh for god's sakes man. SHUT UP!" and with those words he flung the phone back down onto its receiver as if it was a poisonous snake, ready to strike at any moment.

Riza had to bite her tongue to stop herself from sniggering. Roy looked in shock.

"Honestly. That man. I can never tell when he's being serious or not" he shook his head in mock disgust. "Anyway, paperwork! You're not getting away with telling me you'll help me then not doing anything!"

For the next two and a half hours, the office was a flurry of activity. Riza was surprised she didn't burn a whole in the paper she was writing on and her wrist ached something dreadful. At 9 Riza finally gave in, sat back and massaged her wrist.

"I'm stopping for the night Mustang" she declared "this is killing me. I'm surprised my wrist isn't dislocated"

Roy followed Riza's suit and put his pen down as well.

"Yeah, I agree. We'd better get off home then."

Riza started to nod, but then a thought struck her _we're all alone. There's nothing to stop you. Go on. Invite him out tonight. Tell him you love him. Do it, do it _her inner voice urged. She closed her eyes as she battled it out with her thoughts and then opened them again after a minute.

"Is everything ok?" Roy asked, concern emanating from his voice.

The strong note of concern took Riza by surprise and she later told herself that was what finally convinced her to ask Roy to meet her.

"Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine" she said distractedly "listen, Roy, there's something I've been meaning to ask you…"

"Yeah?" Roy asked, interested

"Yeah" she rushed the next part "well, it's just that we've been working really hard and I was wondering if you'd like to go out tonight. We'd have to go home first 'cause I need to get changed and-"

"Yes" Roy interrupted her.

"Huh? Yes?" Riza asked in amazement.

"Yes. I will. How about you meet me outside my house in say, an hour's time?"

"That sounds alright to me" agreed Riza.

"Okay. See you then. I look forward to our date" Roy said flirtatiously

"It's not a…" Riza started to say but noticed that Roy had already left; leaving Riza flustered, excited and generally like a teenager who's just had their first kiss.

"Ok. I need to go and get changed. Now what can I wear…?" and with that she also left the room to get ready.

Three quarters of an hour later, at quarter to 10 Riza Hawkeye was stood in her room in a complete panic. _Oh god. What can I wear? I don't know._

She looked back at the ever growing pile of discarded clothes on her bed and groaned in despair. She had almost resigned herself to just wearing her military uniform to meet Roy. She flopped down on her bed and sighed, just as Black Hayate let out a bark. Riza sat up again

"What is it boy?" she asked, her gun in her hand at the ready only to laugh 2 minutes later when she saw Hayate entangled in a dress she never knew she had.

"Come here, you idiot" She laughed and proceeded to untangle her dog from her clothes. Once Hayate was free she held up the dress and looked at it. It was nice.  
It was plain black, quite low cut at the front and ended just above her knees. It wasn't too formal and it wasn't too flashy. It was perfect for the kind of night out she had in mind and to top it all off, she had a pair of black high heels that would go perfectly with it.  
Riza smiled to herself, got changed into her dress and shoes and looked at the clock. It read 7 minutes to 10. _Oops. I'd better set off._ She thought.

Her head was full of scenarios that could happen when she was locking her house up and by the time she was halfway there she was convinced that the night would be one of the best of her life. She turned the corner to Roy's house when she heard two voices speaking. One was Roy's but the other…she couldn't quite make out. She leaned against the wall and listened in. She knew it was impolite but she was curious. _Maybe it was something to do with our night out _she thought excitedly, if slightly irrationally.

"It's been too long since I've seen you Rose" said the voice that Riza recognised as Roy's

"Yes, yes it has. I'm sorry I haven't contacted you in a while. I was just scared when I found out how high up you've gotten in the military. I thought you wouldn't care about me anymore" the voice she didn't recognise replied. It was a girl's voice. Riza's heartbeat quickened and she looked around the corner to see what was going on.

What she saw was Roy and a stunningly beautiful girl with raven black hair the same colour as Roy's, a beautiful outfit on that must have cost her a fortune and deep sapphire eyes that complimented her hair. The girl was a few years younger than Riza as well _but then, Roy always did like his girls young _she thought bitterly.

She saw Roy stroke the girls cheek then hug her

"And now you must leave" he stated, and Riza couldn't help notice the pang of sadness in his voice as he said it.

"And now I must leave" the girl echoed.

"Well take care. I'll miss you and…I love you" Roy said, lowering his voice

"I love you too" replied the girl.

That was it for Riza. She started off back home, her vision was blurred and she had no idea why. When she raised her hands to her eyes to find the reason she found they were filled with unshed tears. She reached home and fumbled desperately with the house key. All she wanted was to be inside behind her locked door, somewhere where the world couldn't get to her…where Roy couldn't get to her. The lock finally clicked and the door slid open. She slammed it behind her, ran to her room, leaned against her bedroom wall for a few seconds then sank to the floor finally letting the unshed tears flow free.

That was how she spent the night, crying bitterly for her lost love…

**Author's Note: Sorry for the depressing ending. It'll cheer up in the next few chapters though. I promise :)**


End file.
